I double majored in history and
political science at the College of Charleston.
And yet, my profession since
graduation has been on the field of acting, so one could defensibly argue I
have not used my College of Charleston degree for one second since receiving my
diploma from this very stage.
This begs the question…
What the hell was the College of Charleston thinking when they asked me to give the commencement address? I’m a
guy who has never used his College of Charleston degree, and yet they want me
to speak to the graduating class of 2018 on one of the most important days of
their lives, right before they receive their degrees from the College of Charleston.
Well, truth to be told, I don’t
know the reasons as to why I have been invited here today.
And up front, I need to further
admit to this, that my own journey in life that has brought me here with each
of you in this moment, is just as confounding for me to understand as perhaps
it will be for you to listen to me speak about it.
Point being, I don’t have things
figured out in my life. And I certainly I don’t feel that by simply being asked
to speak here today, I should tell the class of 2018 how to lead theirs.
What I have to offer you today is
my truth, my unique life story.
So, I accepted this deeply
special invitation to speak here at Charleston, with the simple intention of
sharing a few quick tibits of my life perspective in the hope that it might aid
in yours.
That being said, my dad used to
always tell me “The great thing about advice is that you don’t have to take
it”. So in that spirit, I would like for you to consider this speech as just
some advice, advice you don’t have to take.
Now circling back to my original
question of why I have been invited here, perhaps one explanation is that the
college liked the idea of a person who could stand up here and justifiably
shout from the rafters that after you walked under the arch back there today as
newly confirmed graduates, know that your diploma from the College of
Charleston is just a piece of paper, and that diploma does not guarantee you
anything; nor should it be the focus of your celebration today.
Some might say that sounds a bit
harsh, but my candor on diplomas represents a core piece of my truth, my unique
life story.
Throughout my studies here at
Charleston I planned all of my days towards the intention of going to law
school, hence the history and political science majors I mentioned at the top
of this speech.
But then when it came time to
actually deliver on all those years of work here at CoffC and get into law
school, I completely bombed the law school admission test. Somebody else also
blew the test.
I blew the test that was the
gatekeeper to my law school future.
So in a instant, after receiving
these tests results, a once assumed open door to my future was for all intents
and purposes swept away.
So I had failed at my first
primary goal in life. Note to self, we all fail.
And now because my failure I had
to figure out a way to change my entire life’s course.
So in this moment of crysis, I
followed up my horrible performance in the Lsat test, by saying ,hey, I’ll
become an actor. Now let me through that choice.
I decided at the time of my
graduation, with degree in hand, that it was a super smart idea to purse a
career in which I had no degree, no understanding of the art or business of
acting whatsoever, and I had no job
prospects in my chosen profession.
That was the reality of my potential
acting career on my graduation day. Sounds ridiculous. But that’s my truth.
That’s my unique life story.
Now in the present moment her
today with each of you, upon reflection looking back, I can say that my choice
to become an actor looks like a pretty decent enough idea because I have had
some successes in the business of being an actor over the course of these years
spanning from graduation till now.
But from first-hand experience, I
can tell you this. Steve Jobs was spot on when he said in his commencement address
in 2005 that, quote, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only
connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somewhat
connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life,
karma, whatever. End quote.
On graduation day for me looking
forward, my future life and career was completely unknown. And yet despite all
the unknowns after graduation I crafted a strategy to pursue a career in acting
that centred around a move to Los Angeles. So I drove west, roughly 2,379 miles
from South Carolina to my final destination LA.
And upon seeing a sign on interstate
10 nothing 675 miles to Los Angeles, for the very first time my choice to pursue
the profession of acting became terrifyingly real. And in that moment of realization,
instantly I began to weep uncontrollably tears streaming down my face because I
felt so much doubt, I felt so much fear, I felt so much anxiety, I felt what we
all feel in times of trasformative change in our lives. I felt the vast
unknowns of life thrust upon me, and I was struggling mightly, as I continued down
to that interstate towards LA, in the background playing through the car
speakers I started to notice a song called “Lie in our graves” from the Dave
Matthew Band. My ears perked up. And as the song reached its conclusion the
lyrics rang out like this.
“I can’t believe we would lie in our
graves wondering if we had spent our living days well, I can’t believe we would
lie in our graves dreaming of things that we might have been” hearing that lyrics,
this was a light bulb moment for me and
suddenly I found myself firmly in the present moment. And in this present
moment three things were now crystal clear to me. One, I knew that I was going
to give this acting thing my best shot. I promised myself – ridiculous or not – I would
fully committed to the pursuit. And that commitment to the pursuit gave me a
sense of purpose.
And two.
I still had no idea how it would turn
out. Even with a sense of purpose, the unknowns were still strong as ever.
And three, because I had a sense
of purpose, to just give to this endeavor my best shot, the fear was gone. I
became fearless and focused on being in the present moment. Focused on the
pursuit rather than on the unknown. And so the fear was replaced with trust.
Just like that Steve Jobs’ commencement speech. I had trust in the unknown,
that somehow the dots would connect and make sense later. We have to accept
the unknown challenges in our lives because they are the reality of our lives.
Hardships are guaranteed for all of
us but they are not guaranteed to define
us. We control that what define us by understanding that sometimes we just we have
to slog through the tough stuff to get to the good stuff. And further, we can’t
worry about the past. That’s done. We can’t worry about the future. That’s not
happened yet. The present moment that is the only moment in which we are truly
alive. And our attitude towards the present moment, whatever the present moment
reveals to us, that is what will define us. That is where we must live, in the
present moment, before we live in our graves. And before we lie in our graves I
want you to be able to say the gap between what you want to do in your life and
what you actually did was nil. My Tv Dad, on “The Resident”, Glenn Morshower, he
impressed that upon me. Now the closer gap is to nil. Now, the closer the gap
is to nil, the closer you are to your fulfilled sense of purpose.
How many of us can say that the
gap between what I want to do in my life and what I am actually doing is nil. Very,
very few. I can’t say I’m there 100 percent, but I can promise you I’m taking
my best shot. And that’s what I want for you. I want your life to be lived in
the present moment in a way that captures uniquely who you are with a sense of
purpose. I want you fulfill whatever aspirations you may have for your unique
life. To be a mother. To travel and invest in experiences. To be great at your
job no matter what that job is. To enact change in the world. To be a friend
who can be counted on. The opportunities of purpose to seek are just as
limitless as that which is within you.
And what is within you, what is
within uniquely you, that is what we are celebrating today. Today is not a
celebration of diplomas and objects of achievement, but rather it is a celebration
of you, the individual you. It is a celebration of what it took within you to
make it to this day. And that is the beauty of your college education. The true
gift of college is not about diploma or what you learned in class. No, it lies
in what you have learned about yourself because you were required to go to
class. The College structure of majors, tests, grads, deadlines, that is all
outside stuff. A diploma is an object discovering and harnessing what is
uniquely you for your work and your personal life, that’s inside stuff. And
that inside stuff is where everything lives. Figuring out what strengths and weaknesses
are, in good times and bad, and in turn to coming to understand them in a way to
make you powerful in your own skin, that’s beautiful.
And it’s up to you to figure that
out. And here the great news. You have already done it. Maybe without even
realizing it fully, but you have done it. You tapped into your essence to figure
out how to meet the demands of college and at the same time have a blast in
your personal life. Over these years in school to make it to your graduation
day, you tapped into all that is within you.
You called upon your grit to make
it to that 8 a.m. class despite your hangover. You found the strength to
address you social anxieties and went out and made new friends. You had the
courage to overcome the loss of a loved one and still pass your test. You loved
someone, and they broke your heart.
You loved someone new and you broke
their heart.
All of this is within you.
This is why you made it here
today.
This is your truth.
This is your unique life story.
And this is why we are celebrating
you today.
You’ve done it to get here.
Now moving forward from this
point, the magic trick for you in life is understanding is your responsability to
continually evaluate and try to understand that constantly changing self within
you. That exploration and then turning it into purpose, that is what makes you uniquely
you and your life, your best life.
Your life as individual demands the
constant reevaluation of the daily routine
every day.
And further, the world needs your
constant examination of who you are. Because our individual lives are now
deeply interconnected to the world, more than ever.
Your life and the lives of others
are intertwined by the tentacles of technology. Now is the time to take that
connectivity between the self and the world that has magnified in your lifetime
by computers, apps and social media, and turn it into human unity.
And on this point in particular,
the world needs change from you, this generation. The world needs your truth,
your unique life story, to inspire others to live their best lives. Because if
we can now be so personally connected through images liked on instagram or through
the stroke of a key on a keyboard, we can most certainly see that all of us
behind the image, behind the keyboard
crave an equal shot at our best lives. Therefore, there’s no place in this
world for racism, gender inequality, ageism, and the denial of rights to the
LGBTQ community. Just as vast technological advancements creating
interconnection is the new normal of your generation, historic issues such as
ensuring equality for all have found a renewed strength and voice in your time,
because of you. And as result, now your generation has the power to finally
guarantee that all of us gain access to our own unique shot at our best lives.
History is watching what we do
with our own lives and how we connect our lives to positively impact the lives
of others. And I learned that from that my history and political science degrees.
Charleston also taught me how to find my purpose, my truth, my unique life
story in order to aspire to my best life. The College of Charleston is the
place where I not only earned my degree, but mostly importantly, I learned that
what you take with you after you leave these grounds is that which you have found
within you. And today each of you among the class of 2018 continues in the long
tradition of graduates across the world who have come before you. Today you
take all that you have discovered within you and you continue to shape your own
truth, you continue to crave out your own unique life story. And I want you to
take your best shot at creating your own best life. And while doing so, in the
process make the world around you a better place. So to honor the class of 2018
taking their best shot at their best life, I would to like to close using the
lyrics from the musical “Hamilton”. This is from a song titled “My Shot”.
Have Courage And Be Kind 